Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger. Ricky Bobby: Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head! Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. What did French land give us? I was like a total dick, man. Cal Naughton, Jr.: You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. I said, "You got a lumpy butt." You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonderment. They are the really thin pancakes.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Well that last one's pretty cool. Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head! I mean spread man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants. Cal Naughton, Jr.: When you have the stereo on, at the same time as the TV, how do you control the volume on the TV? Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there's something special about him... Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus, right... Ricky Bobby: I get emotional. So, what if you just said: "I love really thin pancakes"? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!
Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number ones.
Anarchy! I'm just saying, think about it. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants. Cal Naughton, Jr.: You're right. Cal Naughton, Jr.: I wet my bed until I was nineteen. Ricky Bobby: We?
He's not gonna break it because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass! Cal Naughton, Jr.: Those are three pretty good things. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven. My teacher asked me what the capital of north carolina was and i said washington dc and she said no. Ricky Bobby: You don't understand.
So why don't you go ahead and break my arm? You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee it. I'd eat my way out from the inside. Texas Ranger Bobby: Well, the teacher asked me what was the capitol of North Carolina. Carley Bobby: Stop it, gonna make me cry. Aww Nana, not my prison shank. She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Jean Girard: I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby, but I am a man of my word. I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head! Cal Naughton, Jr.: Hey, when you have the stereo and TV on, how do you change the volume on the stereo? Cal Naughton, Jr.: Remember that time in tenth grade when we got kicked out of class for playing with Matchbox cars? These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong.
Losing’s never fun, but here’s a little something to pick your spirits up… (flips the finger) … That just happened! Ricky Bobby: It's like... Spanish for like a fighting chicken. Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. Ricky Bobby: Really, smarty-pants? Nope. Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! “That's all there is; there isn't anymore.” —Ethel Barrymore, Lifelong friends and national idols Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr. have earned their NASCAR stripes with their uncanny knack of finishing races in the first and second slots, respectively, and slinging catchphrases like "Shake and bake!"
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Put any syrups you want on them. Privacy Statement •
Meta • Just say, "I love crepes.". Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!
Fantasic! I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there.
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Jean Girard: Well, what have you given the world apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger? Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger? Copyright 2006 SONY Pictures Home Entertainment, 2006 Columbia Pictures. Ricky Bobby: They come with cheese sometimes?
Ricky Bobby: How was school today, boys? If you don't chew Big Red, then f-*bleep* you. Ricky Bobby: From now on, you're the Magic Man and I'm El Diablo. Go on! Your notice should include (a) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed; (b) the URL where the allegedly infringing Site Content is located; (c) your full name, postal address, telephone number, and email address; (d) a statement that you have a good faith belief that the use of the allegedly infringing material on our Sites is not authorized; (e) your physical or electronic signature; and (f) a statement that you are the copyright owner or an authorized agent of the copyright owner. and she got mad and yelled at me and i peed my pants and i never did changed my pee pants all day.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah! Jean Girard: Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe. Ricky Bobby: Someone might as well get me a beer while I'm down here. Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. Herschell: Wow... Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate! Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man. Ricky Bobby: [television commercial] Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. Chip: I can't hold my tongue. Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh and one last question. They're just like pancakes, maybe even better. Ricky Bobby: Wait, are they the really thin pancakes? If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
They are *terrible* boys! Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! crepes.".
Jean Girard: Do you know what's in the crepe suzette?
Jean Girard: Bon. Ricky Bobby: Nice. These colors don't run. Jean Girard: We invented democracy, existentialism, and the ménage à trois. Ricky Bobby: "If you have the stereo on..." Why do you have the stereo on while you're watching TV? I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine.
It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. This is just between you and me, okay? If it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather! It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. Texas Ranger : She said, "No, you're wrong." Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys! Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife, Carley. Cal Naughton, Jr.: There is something I want to get off my chest. Ricky Bobby, Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake! Jean Girard: With the sugar and lemon juice... Ricky Bobby: Yeah, the sugar and the lemon juice.
I said Washington, D.C. Texas Ranger: She said, "No, you're wrong." We're American, because you're in America, okay? Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew! I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head! Ricky Bobby: Well, why didn't someone yell that right-right away? Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy? I got an offer to do, “So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?”, “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.”. That's happening right now. Anarchy! Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk! All rights reserved.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: And I'm Cal Naughton, Jr. Ricky Bobby: Urging you never to go to Tijuana. Get down, you little pancake. I said, 'You got a lumpy butt.' If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. That's about one of the nicest things you ever said. But when a riva, “Well, let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said…’I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.’”, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, “There's nothing more frightening than driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.”, “Hey, shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!”, “I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!”, “Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!”, “My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbor's dog to drink it. Texas Ranger: [ complaining about doing community service] When do we get to stop doing this, Grandma?
Ricky Bobby: Cal, that is a new house! Jean Girard: But you have forced me to do this. Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass! They are *terrible* boys! Mike Joy: [after a dramatic crash] Car comes to rest; upside down in a big cloud of smoke. Jean Girard: Yes they are.
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