While sleeping, few people turn on the fan and cover selves with blanket and sleep. It is this that makes her an extraordinary sociolinguist, and her book such a fascinating look at that crucial social cement, conversation.”—Oliver Sacks “[A] refreshing and readable account of the complexities of communication between men and women [with] vivid examples and lively prose.” —New York Times Book Review “Tannen has a marvelous ear for the way real people express themselves, and a scientist's command of the inner structures of speech and human relationships ... A chatty, earnest, and endearing book that promises here-and-now rewards...” —Los Angeles Times“Utterly fascinating.” —San Francisco Chronicle, Argentia/Vergara, Brazil/Nova Cultural, Bulgaria/Agata, China/Liping, Ginkgo (Beijing) Book Co., Czechoslovakia/Mlada Fronta, Croatia/Izvori, Denmark/Munksgaard, Finland/Otava, France/Laffont, Germany/Kabel, Greece/Lichnos, Hungary/Nyitott Konyvmuhely, Iceland/Almenna, Indonesia/PT Kentindo Soho, Japan/Kodansha, Japanese textbook/Eiho-sha, Korea/Korea Journalistic Information, Israel/Matar, Italy/Fransinelli, Norway/Cappelens, Netherlands/Prometheus, Poland/W.A.B. Also, even culturally there may be differences in styles of conversation/communication. Looks like just another self-help book, but Tannen is the real deal: a professor of linguistics who studies conversations. Tannens main goal is to give advice to the different genders in order for them to … She certainly knows her stuff. 1, and has been translated into 29 languages. You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen, 1990, Morrow edition, in English - 1st ed. It didn't occur to me that it wasn't the only thing that matter. (298), I was listening to this book on an audio book because I was just doing research on feminist issues for a project and I actually found a lot of insightful things contained in it. [return][return]Do you ever wonder why even your own gender acts in such a particular why? How to Wing Friends and Inlfuence People by Dale Carnegie It's frustrating to agree with most of a book, but to come out the other end not liking it. Deborah Tannen made her reputation with this examination of the differences in the ways men and women communicate. Chapter summaries written for Graduate Credit by 4.0 GPA student in 2015. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. Read this book. I picked it up about a week ago. Women and men in conversation | Find, read and cite all the research you need on ResearchGate I decided to read this book because I listened to her lectures before and I've even shown one of her videos to my class about gender styles and conversation. 612 You Just Don't Understand. After a point, I just combed through the content, and my take aways from the book are absolutely none. In this book, she explains her insights into the vast cultural differences separating men and women which influence - and often complicate - nearly all of our daily communication both within and between genders. My rating is based on the chapters of the book that I did read. I have owned this book for a number of years; I may have tried it previously, but put it down without completing it. Absolutely fascinating. I found it to be amazingly accurate and it really has helped me communicate better with men. Walter Isaacson, it’s safe to say, is not afraid of tackling the really big topics. On the very last page of the book (aside from the voluminous Notes), Tannen says that "Understanding style differences for what they are takes the sting out of them." Others will also appreciate its insights into dynamics they found strange, overwhelming, or difficult. But, it's helped me understand my relationships a lot more, especially with female-male relationships. For the most part I felt like this was right on the money. Nothing wrong with Tannen. I wouldn't categorize it as a psychology or behavioral sciences book. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. As witty and entertaining as it is enlightening, this book shows why a woman and man can walk away from the same conversation with completely different ideas of what was said. For me, there were certainly some laugh out loud moments. Most of the information seemed to be repeating itself over and over, and quite honestly, I just grew tired of the redundancies. It's not anti-woman or anti-man, but tries to study the reasons - cultural or otherwise - w. Do you have any interactions with people of the opposite sex? by William Morrow Paperbacks, You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. her generalizations are too broad and she oversimplifies when she seeks to characterize male and female communication styles, but she struck a chord with me. A lot of times when I didn't see something like a friend of mine who was a girl did in the same way it was because I didn't understand what was meant. In "You Just Don't Understand, Tannen explores and explains the subtle and not-so subtle differences in gendered communication. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND Women and Men in Conversation ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER LIST FOR NEARLY FOUR YEARS, EIGHT MONTHS AT #1 TRANSLATED INTO 31 LANGUAGES. The book cites studies of children and shows how they show many of the same communicative patterns of adults. It is a classic. this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. If you want to better understand what can, and often does, go wrong between men and women in conversation this is a must read. The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a challenging process at the best of times. based on the notion that women seek social connections and men are looking for stature or position with respect to their interlocutors. I don't understand why some women always respond with one or two words. And how to make things work. While I found some of it relevant and interesting, it is hard for me to buy into such gender generalizations. Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. I was disappointed. In "You Just Don't Understand, Tannen explores and explains the subtle and not-so subtle differences in gendered communication. Here we are again, another book milking the juicy debates Martians vs Venusians! I have to admit, my son is a bit miffed with me. However, the book is also written for public reading so it may be lighter and the theories not discussed as deeply. whatever its shortcomings, i had to smile for all the times her examples rang a bell in my own experience. I reread this book a few weeks ago, having first read it about 15 years ago. Her latest book, You're Wearing THAT? I was listening to this book on an audio book because I was just doing research on feminist issues for a project and I actually found a lot of insightful things contained in it. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. Apologizing for things they have no control of and often times no connection to. So while men's style puts a dividing wedge between people, women's may overlap and downplay thi. tannen, a sociolinguist, includes lots of dialogues between men and women, with focus on where they come to blows, verbal blows. Related. But more recently feminists have emphasized differences (women are better). Her book Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work , a New York Times Business Best Seller, does for the workplace what the earlier book did for women and men talking at home. [return][return]My husband even picked up this book and flipped through and said he was impressed by it. I wish more men would read this book (and all women with any ambition should read Tannen's 'talking from nine to five'). (52) It means that solving a problem is an expression of understanding; having women and men more understanding of their use of language will decrease the complaint “You just don’t understand.” Basically, Tannen took 352 pages to say "Men and women communicate differently, accept it." [return][return]As a writer, I think this book will be an excellent source for honing dialog and creating conflict. Show More. Gender and linguistics aren't the most exciting of subjects, usually - but in Tannen's expert hands this becomes a fascinating and balanced read. In 2011, he wrote about our ubiquitous computer culture... To see what your friends thought of this book, (I am not an academic) The theories discussed are included in my syllabus for the Cambridge International A-Level exam (together with Lakoff's, O'Barr. You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation is a limited book in scope and depth, but it does help explain why our heroes and heroines often seem to be having entirely separate conversations at the same time. For example, when presented with a friend's problem, Dr. Tannen illustrates that men will mitigate the problem by dismissing it as unimportant in order to decrease their friend's anxiety over it (there are several ways to do this) while women will show support and agreement with the friend's anxiety in order to make her feel that she's not dealing with it alone (there are several ways to do this also). In this case, I enjoyed the stories of men and women talking past each other and I like the explanation, but I quickly became tired of diagnosis and wanted some cure. This is a must read for anyone who wants to listen beyond just words, and appreciate the different styles of gendered communication, and also for teachers, supervisors, team leaders et al, who really want to communicate better. I know that sounds so weird, but there really are differences in how many men and women use language. Teen Age: You Just Don't Understand, San Francisco, CA. However, you have to admit for as many who may not relate, there are at least an equal number who will. All of Tannen's assertions are grounded in research, and she's careful not to stereotype, despite what some reviewers here think. It was also on best seller lists in Brazil, Canada, England, Germany, Holland, and Hong Kong. It offers liberation from character assassination during conflicts in communication and the opportunity to understand others' perspectives so that we don't get hung up on communication style in our relationships or our communication about really important issues. Her book, The Argument Culture, received the Common Ground Book Award. A lot of times when I didn't see something like a friend of mine who was a girl did in the same way it was because I didn't understand what was meant. I think this was one of the first books to explore these types of things. You know, people just don't see what their mind tells them isn't there. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different … It gets to the very root of gender differences. The original source of the truism that men don't like to stop and ask for directions, this book is studded with lively examples of real conversations that will leave you wondering whether Tannen was hiding in your living room or the back seat of your car. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. “Deborah Tannen's groundbreaking book You Just Don't Understand improved male-female relationships about, oh, 100 percent.” —Glamour“Deborah Tannen combines a novelist's ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis. February 6th 2007 So feminists of that era don't like Tannen's book, which documents linguistic and motivational differences. My husband rarely reads books. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. 308 likes. Hysterical... though I'm not sure others would find it so. So I did not finish this book because honestly, I got bored. It used to be feminists liked to emphasize sameness of men and women, because women were seen as inferior to men. This can be seen in them apparently lecturing in a teacher style (to show how much they know), something Tannen refers to as "report" type talking. Ap English Tannen Essay Section 1: Theory You Just Don’t Understand Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen is basically an explanation on how women and men converse. You Just Don't Understand Women and Men in Conversation (Book) : Tannen, Deborah : From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? With You Just Don't Understand, you'll recognize yourself and your own efforts to be understood - and gain valuable insight to help you communicate better than ever before. We want to be understood—heard for what we think we are saying, for what we know we meant.”. I don't understand why some women, who get abused by a man, will lash angrily out at a nice guy. So while men's style puts a dividing wedge between people, women's may overlap and downplay things in order to bring people closer together. So, for you more empathetic men, fair warning, this may not be for you. She certainly knows her stuff. You just don't understand women and men in conversation This edition was published in 1991 by Virago in London. I figured that by reading this book, maybe I could figure out what I was doing wrong, why I was constantly being misinterpreted. A true cultural and intellectual phenomenon, this is the book that brought gender differences in ways of talking to the forefront of public awareness and catapulted Tannen onto the public stage. This can be seen in them apparently lecturing in a teacher style (to show how much they know), something Tannen refers to as "report" type talking. There are too many anecdotes presented by the author and the conclusions are over simplified. Buy You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation New Ed by Tannen, Deborah (ISBN: 9781853814716) from Amazon's Book Store. 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